mmmm candy

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Favorite Flavors of Candy Corn:

Vanilla Strawberry
Apple Twist
Chocolate Custard
Plain
Sugar Flavored

Interesting Moments at the Doctors Office:

Getting my zipper stuck on my dingdongdodo
Slipping on someone else’s vomit and cracking my skull into 7.5 pieces
Tongue Depressors
Drinking a cold one w/ dr. wasted
Slipping the nurse a roofie and showing her my herpes

Fun things to do with Candy Corn:

Throw it at black cats
Eat it faster then the speed of sound
Melt it into goo and reform it into molds of Greek gods
Coat it in salt and feed it to slugs
Listen to its bidding

Rat Poison Brands:

Rat-A-Way
Branch's Rat Poison Candy Corn
Rat-Roofie's
Eternal Rest
Send Em' to Heaven

Parties with Katherine Lemon:

Temple- October 2005
Buddapestfest 1986
Burning Man 1997
The Lemon Family Reunion 2004
My Pants! OH EYATATATEATET GOTACHA

Celebrity Run-Ins

Ricky Martin in that gay nude strip club
Cher trying to get her time machine to work
Ben Folds at the Laundromat, folding his laundry Ben style
Bog Sagget at the 'Porn Barn' (if you’re into Bestiality- that's the place to be!!)
Tripping over Miles Davis's GRAVE AHAHAHHAAHAH HE"S DEAD

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